"Got To" vs. "Get To"

Gifting can feel very overwhelming. It's a perpetual endeavor that continues to occupy brain space, regardless of whatever else may be going on in our lives. Some seasons we feel excited about gifting. Money isn't a burden, you have time to check out a few stores and sites, and you know exactly what to buy thanks to a mental-turned-physical note you jotted down a few weeks ago.

"Got To"

But oftentimes that's not the reality. For one gifting occasion of 2026, you might feel on top of things, then the next holiday or milestone rolls around and you feel the stress creeping in. I have "got to" buy them a present. I don't want to. I don't feel up for it. But I "got to" put all of this energy and effort I don't have into a present. "Got to" is an obligation. And it's not the ideal headspace for gifting. But I've been there, many times over many years.

My biggest "got to" gifting era was, I'm ashamed to admit (but not that ashamed because I want to give myself grace and I logically understand why), about five years long. Yes, that's correct. For five straight years I not only felt like I had to buy a gift out of obligation, but I felt resentment. For me personally, those five years included COVID, buying a house, welcoming baby #1 into our family, working, fixing up said house, welcoming baby #2, transitioning to SAHM, and all of life with two little humans.

Yes, these are all blessings. But if 2026 has taught us anything, it's that two feelings can exist at once. All of these beautiful things left little brain power for anything else. And while I used to pride myself on being a good gift giver, I was not interested in the slightest. This would, of course, be fine! If ... I didn't feel the guilt that rolled around every gifting occasion.

"Get To"

Now I'm certainly not suggesting you have to fake excitement for gifting. If you are truly in a place where gift giving is just a step too far out of your zone of capabilities, then there are plenty of thoughtful options to go about that conundrum too (blog post on ideas incoming). But if you're out of that phase and are having a hard time getting back into the right gifting mindset (like myself), then you're in the right place.

"Get to" is a magical mini phrase that helps us with a clear perspective shift. I "get to" give gifts vs. I "got to" give gifts is a subtle yet helpful distinction. I didn't come up with this myself, and I'm sure the fun wordplay has been discussed many times before, but I first heard it from the authors of How to Live a Meaningful Life: Using Design Thinking to Unlock Purpose, Joy, and Flow Every Day. (I love a good "help me figure out my life" read.)

If "got to" is an obligation, then "get to" is a privilege. I have a core group of people in my life that I "get to" buy gifts for to show them how much they mean to me. This doesn't make the gift-buying process easier, but it does make it worth it. With this mindset, and some tips, tricks, and resources from myself and A Little Love Gifting Service, gifting becomes less of a burden and more of an opportunity to show our appreciation of others in a concrete way.

Check back for more thoughts on gifting, as well as tips and strategies to help gifting go from "got to" to "get to."

Happy gifting!

Amy